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KELLY'S KORNER: Answering the questions that I know the answers

Joe Kelly
Sentinel columnist
Posted 3/26/23

At a Rotary Club speech last week, I was asked a question by the club’s president.

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KELLY'S KORNER: Answering the questions that I know the answers


At a Rotary Club speech last week, I was asked a question by the club’s president.

“Will you take a few questions after you are finished speaking?”

To the president, Tina, and to the Rotarians in the audience I said, “Sure, I’d be happy to do that.”

But that wouldn’t have made me happy and I didn’t want to do that.

You never know what you’ll be asked and I didn’t want to stand up there behind the podium with a look of puzzlement on my face when stumped by the very first question, which happened to me once.

In the end it didn’t matter because all Rotary Club meetings end exactly on time. In this case, one o’clock.

So I ended my speech at 12:59 and there was no time for questions. This is called running out the clock.

Actually, I would have been pleased to have answered questions had the questions been ones I had answers to, including the following:

Q. What time do you get out of bed on Sundays?

A. I get up in time to get to church at 10:30. Sometimes I have time for reading the news over a leisurely cup of coffee.

Sometimes I run out the door with a coffee cup in hand and drink it on the way.

Q. What are some of your favorite movies?

A. Ranking high on the list are “The Quiet Man” and anything with John Wayne in it, “Casablanca” and most things with Humphrey Bogart, “The Magnificent Seven,” the series of Sherlock Holmes movies, but only the ones starring Basil Rathbone, and “Robin Hood,” but only the one starring Errol Flynn.

Q. How do you celebrate the first day of spring?

A. If there is a blizzard, I hunker down and watch “Robin Hood.” If it is sunny and 55 degrees I whistle while skipping around the block.

Q. Do you or have you ever smoked? Do you ever sneak one? 

A. I once smoked a pack a day, but quit in 1982 and have had not even one since then.

I was in a store the other day and noticed that one pack of cigarettes cost $11. When I smoked, a carton of cigarettes cost less than $5.

Q. Giants or Jets? 

A. Giants. They are New York’s real team even though their home field is in New Jersey.

I know it doesn’t make sense, but there are many things about professional sports that make no sense. 

Q. Is there a book on your nightstand?

A. There always is. The book there now keeps putting me to sleep.  

Q. Do you believe in astrology?

A. Only when the sun is in Scorpio and the moon is rising.

Q. How much time do you spend online? 

A. I go online first thing in the morning and the very last thing at night - unless the book on my nightstand has already put me to sleep.

Q. Do you exercise? What kind? 

A. I once ran marathons. Today I work up a sweat thinking about running 26.2 miles.

Q. Excepting family members, who do you turn to for advice in times of crisis?

A. A smart librarian once told me that the answers to all my questions could be found in the library.

All I had to do, she said, was find the correct book. That has proven true.

Q. Do you text?

A. Too often.

Q. Do you carry pictures in your wallet? Whose?  

A. Not even one picture, but on my phone there are 2,423 of people and places. I like looking at them when I’m not too busy texting.  

Q. Have you ever regretted writing a particular newspaper column?

A. Yes, many, maybe even this one.


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